there’s absolutely
no use in arguing
with a full bladder

why pay so much
to be
this miserable?

they produce movies
just to have short clips
between the ads

i can eat from
taco bell without
getting sick

i
am
awesome

a bull kicked his forehead in
but he still has
that supermodel butt

wreck diving is like
visiting a lost place under water
in the presence of a shark

some lines put
the supermarket lines before
holidays to shame

dann bestelle ich
es halt
bei amazon

he can’t hold his belly
up like that and expect
not to be petted